Being a father is the most important role I will ever play and if I don’t do this well, no other thing I do really matters.-R.A.

In honor of Father’s Day, I decided to write a post about fathers and their children. I believe sometimes fathers get a bad rap for being unable to be as hands-on and loving as mothers. Back in the day, it was actually unheard of seeing a father showing love and affection to his children. The fathers were the breadwinners and the stern ones who instilled discipline as opposed to cradling and rocking the baby to sleep, staying home with the child or even feeding the child. My father for example was very loving but his love was shown by actions not words or hugs. He would hold me when I cried or go buy my diapers and food but speaking to me lovingly or in endearing terms was not very common although I knew he loved me unconditionally.After he got sick while I was in high school his softer side came out. It wasn’t until I was in my teens that I truly formed a wonderful relationship with my father and I’m thankful we were as thick as thieves until his passing.

In my household my husband is just as hands-on as I am, the only thing he won’t do is change diapers, I have forbidden him too after a poop mishap when J was 1 week old, it’s fine with me because I can successfully change a diaper in 1 minute flat! I’ve gotten so used to it that diaper changing does not phase me. My husband feeds J when I need him to, he will change him and put him to sleep almost every night. It was always important for me to marry a man who would be good with children, my husband has surpassed my expectations in every way! Fatherhood is just as important as motherhood and you only have one shot with each child to make it right from the beginning.

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. — Kent Nerburn

Times have certainly changed, many fathers are looking to change history and form close bonds with their children without worrying about how silly or weird it may look. Babies who have benefited from paternal interactions from an early age get on better with their peers. They’re academically more successful, stay in school longer, use drugs and alcohol less frequently and are less likely to get involved with crime. They may also be better equipped socially and psychologically than infants who receive very little attention from their fathers. When Dad has a healthy relationship with his children, not only does it boost the child’s mental health it also relieves stress within the father. Fathers play a hugely important role in the mental health of their children much later in life. Men are more “rough and tumble” with their toddlers and children, and encourage the more risk-taking behavior. They also use a very different vocabulary with their children, often using complicated words where mothers tend to adjust their language down. This helps to broaden the child’s vocabulary. I have compiled a list of ways fathers can establish a bond with their baby/child from the start.  Remember the well being of a child and his or her future starts at HOME!

7 Ways to Forge a Bond with your Child:

1. WOMB BONDING– When the baby is in the womb have the father speak to the child in the womb. Studies show that a baby can distinguish between his parent’s voice and strangers voices after 30 weeks. It helps baby recognize the father much quicker once born.
2. SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT– Baby is happiest when connecting skin-to-skin with mom or dad. His temperature, heart and breathing rates will be more consistent, and his blood sugar more stable. It also allows baby to get familiar with your scent and your heartbeat becomes a soothing beat for the little one.
3. PLAY AND SPEAK TO BABY– Make silly faces, play peek-a-boo and sing songs for baby. Set aside regular time for baby, whether it’s after work or in the morning. Appoint a special time that’s just for you and the little one, so as baby grows, this special bonding time becomes part of the daily routine.
4. BATH TIME– When you are able to, take time out to give the child a bath. He baby will learn dad’s touch from him rubbing lotion all over when the bath is done; as well as from dad soaping up and rinsing the baby off. Some dads may be a little nervous about giving their new baby a bath, and if that is the case, mom can help a little and give them some pointers.
5. SLEEP TIME– Putting the child to sleep forms a bond like no other. The child senses you close and he/she feels secure. This alone will lull him to sleep in due time. At first, the child may be fussy but like all good things, you must be patient and wait.
6. READING– Read to your child. Small children will likely not stay still during the reading time but keep at it and do not give up. Not only does this form a bond it also teaches the child literacy skills for later in his/her life.
7. OUTDOOR TIME– Take the child outside for a walk or to the park on your time off. Play with your child, children love to be outdoors!

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. – Sigmund Freud